Happy Mother’s Day from a Working Mom in Tech
As a working mom in tech, finding the balance between being a good mom and doing a good job at work is hard, because it feels like you’re always sucking at both.
When my now 15-year-old daughter first started at daycare, I felt guilty. I hated the idea of someone else taking care of her while I went to work. But I also wanted to work. And when I was at work, I felt guilty that I wasn’t pulling my weight, because I had to leave the office at a good time to pick up my daughter from daycare and to spend time with her. Because I love my kid.
As a working mom, you can’t win. I felt like I didn’t quite belong in either world.
There were days when I would drop my daughter off at daycare across the street from work, step foot in the office, have to turn right back around because I’d get a call from daycare saying that she was running a fever, and that I’d have to pick her up and take her home. What were my coworkers thinking of me? There were days when I’d be the last parent picking her up at school from aftercare, 15 minutes after the cutoff time for aftercare. What was my daughter thinking of me?
There were the days I’d leave work a bit early to take my daughter to swimming lessons after school. I’d feel guilty about missing work. But knowing how happy she was that I got to take her out for pizza and a popsicle before swimming lessons meant the world to me. And to her.
Eventually, I learned to let go of (most of) the guilt. You eventually find a way to make it work. It won’t be perfect. It never will be. After all, I was doing two jobs. I’m still doing two jobs. A mom’s job is never done. As moms (and as parents in general), we do our best to parent with the information that we have at our disposal. That’s all we can do.
But also as a working mom in tech with a daughter, I want to be her role model. Not so that she follows my footsteps in tech (she wants to be a dentist, and I love that 😀), but so that she can see that it is possible to be a mom and to have a successful career.
So to all you working moms out there, know that you’re enough and that you’re doing your best. Happy Mother’s Day.
Peace, love, and code. ☮️❤️👩💻
